in other news, music snobs are snoblike

He said: “The brain is not geared to accept buzzing. The CDs induce a sense of fatigue in the listeners. It becomes psychologically tiring and almost impossible to listen to. This could be the reason why CD sales are in a slump.”

That's a quote I pulled from
here While I sympathize with the message of the article over all (music all sounds the same, and that sucks!), the logic fell off that thought train. CD sales aren't lagging because listeners are psychologically tired, it's because they download music. Which is why all the music sounds the same, because producers are responding to mp3 formatting. It's just a function of what the consumers want.

The article goes on to compare television test tones to compressed songs. What? These people are clearly not well verse in earth logic or much else. The test tone annoys people because of the actual frequency to which it is pitched, and that is intentionally annoying to people. It's supposed to get your attention in case of zombipocalypse or alien invasion. The tone is not annoying because it is undynamic. Sheesh.

Further: Val Weedon, of the UK Noise Association, called for a ceasefire in the “loudness war”. She said: “Bass-heavy music is already one of the biggest concerns for suffering neighbours. It is one thing for music to be loud but to make it deliberately noisy seems pointless.” And get off my lawn, you damned kids before I throw my cane at you!

I don't think anyone would make the claim that limiting the dynamic nature of a recording is a GOOD thing, but how about a workable solution, like a new sort of digital file, rather than attempting to promote cd sales which is doomed to epic failure? Surely there's a genius 14 year old out there who can invent something better.

For one thing, we're all spoiled by mp3 players and I doubt people are going to be willing to give that up just because the sound quality sucks. Most people can't differentiate poor quality producing anyway. Frankly, I'm not giving up my frickin' iPod because Bob Dylan sounds better on vinyl. I'm not giving up my iPod until the next revolution in music delivery happens, and I'm not holding my breath for that.

Cds are simply cumbersome and annoying in an age when you can utilize a device that plugs into your home stereo, your car stereo, and functions on it's own perfectly fine as well. Sure, Charlie Parker sounds better on vinyl (and who knows, even The Eagles might) but didn't we already discuss this to death in the '90's? We acknowledge that the sound quality is better on vinyl, but if everyone gave in and bought record players, what would music snobs have to be snobby about? Enjoy your snobitude and listen to compression-free Dylan on your turntable and leave the rest of us alone to enjoy the music revolution going on on that pesky new-fangled Internet.

sometimes, there's cool shit on the internets

Rock band logos analyzed. Hours and hours of time-wasting potential here, folks.

In other news, stalking is sort of rock and roll.

Well, I was working on another post about the songs I liked from the Rolling Stone hundred songs THING, but then I got distracted talking about one of my very favorite topics: how Ryan Adams personally insults me by continuing to not pander to my every desire.

The thing is, I think, we're honest with our friends when we're drinking about how we have expectations of musicians that amount to entitled bratty “MORE MORE” yodeling. You see this a lot with the concept of “sophomore slump.” Generally, I think it's more like Album A was of one variety and for Album B the band went in a new direction that annoys fans and critics. With me, all of my disenfranchised warbling tends to adhere to Ryan Adams—Arch Villain.

Once upon a long time ago, I fell into the sort of sordid love with Ryan Adams music that is usually only associated with self-cutting and 14 year old crying jags. I'm not even ashamed of this. I had Heartbreaker and Gold on such constant rotation that I think I bought Gold at least five times because I kept damaging the cd in my shakey-handed enthusiasm to shove it into the player in my car.

One day, Ryan Adams woke up and had an epiphany: he loathes every fiber of my being. It's taken me a long time to finally accept our break up. Yeah, I lingered and kept calling, but I sort of think he understands my behavior.

Because he is himself a lunatic.

Youtube: Making even celebrities look like fifteen year olds with no grasp on reality!

No, I really do sort of hate everything.

Just to prove that I'm one of the very sorts of people I loathe most (two phrases that make me instantly dislike someone are “Oh, I don't watch t.v.” or “Oh, I never listen to the radio” because I think toss that in someone's face is shorthand for “I think you're a plebian loser!”), my friend compiled the complete list of Rolling Stone's Top Hundred Songs of 2008, and the only ones I knew were pretentious-rock (the Of Montreal cut), pop I know because of ubiquity (The Fratellis), or something I like despite myself (Amy Winehouse). Basically, what I'm saying here is—I don't listen to the radio.

On one hand, that's an absolute fabrication since I listen to the CBC from the time I get up until the time I go to bed if I'm working or puttering around the house—and god help anyone who comes between me and the CBC when I'm cooking. But the deeper truth is that I don't listen to music on the radio anymore unless I have a wild hair or (oh christ!) someone else is in control of the radio in the car. How common my shunning of the radio is escapes me as most facts about one's behavior being standard or “normal” tends to do. I don't know what you do, but I listen to the news on the radio and I avoid being tortured by music on commercial radio. I'm kind of pro-active with my listening since I seek out new music and go to desperate ends to share that music with others. Generally speaking, I feel like bands who have made it to the radio already have people doing for them what I try to do in a guerrilla fashion for other acts. But my dislike of the radio isn't so much punk rawk and revolutionary as seated in my loathing of being trapped listening to something that makes my soul itch. There's a lot of soul-itchery going down at the moment on commercial radio.

Now on to the portion of this scree where I lambaste Rolling Stone--

Clearly someone reads this magazine. I assume it's Boomers who've had subscriptions since day one, people who read for the car wreck factor, and industry pros and wannabes? Personally, my trashy music mag of choice is Blender where the crass commodification of artistic endeavor isn't buried under a patina of self-congratulatory, smug geezer moral rectitude. Bring on the blatant pandering to the basest sort of teenaged wish-fulfillment! The time has long gone when one voice spake unto the wilderness to declare the coolness factor of X artist—if such ex cathedra pronouncements were ever taken seriously (I grew up in a world where individualism was back in, so any sort of herd mentality was always alien to me).


Rolling Stone Top 100 Songs of 2007

But, seriously, folks, Kylie Minogue?

On the other hand, Datarock “Computer Camp Love” is going straight on to my iPod.

The video.

Sometimes the Euros really bring it. Like usually when encountering some zany European band, I cannot tell how much of this is a joke. Generally, I give too much of a benefit of a doubt and come to discover later that someone was dead serious with their, er, hijinx.

But then after that gem, we have an example of the current trend towards Joy Divisionesque walls of noise with monotonous vocals in The National “Mistaken for Strangers” I've heard a lot of music like this lately and I will confess quite honestly that I'd rather listen to The Fratellis because even if it's That Same Song Again, it's fun and has lots of toe-tapping lyrics about banging groupies, a genre I, frankly, never get tired of.

Vampire Weekend "Cape Co Kwassa Kwassa certainly wins for Best Name of the Year, but the song reminds me of a cross between Maroon 5 and a margarine ad.

I think this is going to have to be a series of posts since some of my old adversaries (Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and Patrick Wolf, for example) have made this

Christians made me want to rob and burn

Lately, I've been listening to lots of music my friends think is crappy. I own that. I don't really think I need to defend my love of My Chemical Romance considering they have a religious following full of rabid cultists who would happily shove you down the stairs for dissing their beatific leaders. I probably won't be shoving anyone down the stairs over The Black Parade, but that's only because I'm too busy texting my friends about Fall Out Boy.

Now, let me tell you about this spectacular band, The Mattoid.

I was chatting with my friend Moriah
about Jay Reatard (more about him in a sec) and she linked me to The Mattoid. Has anything from Finland ever been FAIL? No, I say NO! Of particular interest is the song "Burn and Rob" in which the lyricist details his experience of purchasing a Christian record only to find that it has morally bankrupted him, turning him into a reprobate obsessed with sex and violence. Further explication I feel is unneeded (click or die, infidel!).

Now about Jay Reatard. He's recently signed with Matador and promo-touring with The Black Keys. The only reason I care is that he's from Tennessee. You might care because you love '90's-era retro Britpop influenced garage music. That's an endorsement, by the way.